Life Update: graduating, uni, moving … basically I’m old and I’m scared :))

Howdy people🤠

I am a procrastinator. It’s very much in my nature to put things off till the last possible minute but I’ve never procrastinated writing a post quite as much as this one.

I know this blog is for all things books but therapy is expensive, this blog is free and I feel like I need to talk through the big changes that are happening in my life right now.

To summarise: I’m growing up and I don’t want to. I’m one of those people who sure, has plans for the future, but it just never occurs to me that I’m actually going to have to live out those plans. Does that make sense? It’s like I can’t picture my life past tomorrow. So it’s really only just dawning on me that this is all going on.

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I graduated!!

If you had told ten year old me who moved to Spain and could barely ask to go to the toilet in Spanish, no way would she believe that she’d go on to graduate not only from secondary school, but also the extra two years of Bachillerato.

School has been really hard for me the past eight years. I went from being a star pupil who excelled at school, to moving somewhere where I couldn’t even communicate with other people. Going from being top of your class to failing everything really messes with you.

Me graduating this year was actually a bit touch and go. I had to pass every single class or else I’d have to repeat those failed classes next year so when I kept failing Latin exam after Latin exam, I was sure I was going to have to take the class again but THANK FUCK I passed. It was literally my last chance and I got the bare minimum grade but that’s not what matters.

Also, I essentially found out that I’d graduated while in a kebab shop waiting for my food with my friend after we’d gone out for a couple of pints. I don’t know why but I find this very funny.

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I’m going to uni (*screams*)

Unless something really bad happens, come September I’m gonna be an official uni student. I don’t really know anyone who’s gone to university recently or just in general so I have no idea what to expect.

I’m going to be studying English Literature and Creative Writing in York. It’s going to be a really big adjustment and I’m terrified.

I joined a couple of Facebook groups and actually found two of my new housemates so being able to talk and get to know them beforehand has big relief although I bet I’m still going to be a giant ball of anxiety and awkwardness come September.

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I’m moving back to England (*screaming intensifies*)

So yeah, me studying in York means I’m moving back to England. This is probably the scariest change that’s coming up.

I haven’t lived in England for eight years and haven’t been back for two years, even then, when I do go to visit my family, I’m never there for any longer then 5 days and even that was too much sometimes. England and Spain have two very different ways of living and so it’s going to be a big adjustment for me.

It’s not all bad and terrifying though. I’m excited about being able to buy my favourite food for a decent price instead of the ridiculous prices I pay now. Then there’s my family; York isn’t too far away from my home-town but still far enough that I’m not dragged into babysitting every weekend. My younger sister was actually born while I was living in Spain so she’s really excited to have me close.

And then, it’s probably bad that I’m so excited about this but, moving back means I can use libraries’ again. Actually, when I got my accommodation, finding the local library was one of the first things I did😂. I’m not going to have much money or space when I move back so E-books and libraries are going to be my life-savours.

Erm, so yeah … that’s everything that’s going on in my life right now. Thanks for letting me word-vomit and get it all out of my system. If anyone has any words of wisdom for surviving at uni I’d love to hear them 😂

Elli xx